Jealousy kills. Do you agree that it kills our happy, satisfied souls and hearts? It is dragging us into the darkness and it has its own consequences. If us women feel jealous, we become bitter and it shows. When your soul and heart are happy, you spark!
I am not ashamed to admit that I’ve gone through phases when it has been hard to 100% support other women and to see how well they are doing, when I’ve felt like the biggest failure. Besides feeling jealous I’ve also always felt guilty about feeling jealous. Crazy vicious cycle I must say.
BUT,
I’m not jealous anymore. I don’t have this uncomfortable buzz in my body anymore when I see other women doing better than me. I suddenly feel very supportive towards every single woman who does more, is more, achieves more, is more feminine, has a happy home, a conscious relationship, earns more money, has more friends, has a fit body… the list could go on.
My heart has opened itself to another level. I’m not really sure how or when it happened but I decided to document it and write it out into my blog anyway.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I didn’t support women before but my need to judge has left the building. Overnight. Just like that.
My whole life I’ve always wanted to be the best, number one. I wanted to become the best portrait photographer in my country and that’s why I left abroad to grow and learn from the big talents in the industry. I wanted to have the best speech when I went on stage so I prepared for that weeks before. I want to be better than I was yesterday, so I learn from my mistakes as fast as possible. In a way it may be a sickness to prove something to someone. I don’t know yet if that someone is me or someone else.
When I normally looked at Instagram models or influencers posting halfnaked images with the undertone of desperation and to get validation, I judged them for a second, then just clicked away because I didn’t understand why they would sell their body online. Why can’t they see that they are beautiful inside and that it’s enough? There was still this small available space for judgments. But today I couldn’t care less! I find myself cheering everyone instead, naked or not! Who cares?
We normally feel jealous when we are not satisfied with our own selves and with our own lives. Maybe something shifted? THANKFULLY. It’s good to be me again because I’m not sure what happened here.
I’ve been nonstop working behind the scenes to build my premium membership area and material along with my photography class, that all of it took a toll on me. Nobody was really seeing what I was doing or at least the times when no one says “well done”, you suddenly question the purpose of it all. But I do have to thank my website guy/team member who pushes me and comes up with the most creative solutions. If you ever need a website, contact me. He honestly is the best.
I spent my morning writing down 100 mantras for every morning that would be my routine after I wake up. I feel like I need this to get my energy into balance and focus into the right place to actually feel good about every new day. Maybe that helped me open my heart to an extreme level. Every mantra that I wrote down held a very high frequency and came straight from the Source. I felt so high just like when I first tried Kundalini yoga years ago. I was floating and giggling.
I recommend you create yourself a morning routine as well. Believe it or not, I haven’t had one for a very very long time. It helps to have something to look forward to.
If you are a mom or a very busy business woman who has no time, it’s crucial for you to have a morning routine that would attune you right and prepare you for your day. I just personally forgot the importance of it for some time.
I saw this lady post an Instagram reel the other day where she said that don’t make your life worse just to relate. When your life is great, show it. When you are doing good, relationships are happy, home is amazing, show THAT. You don’t have to pretend you have anxiety or you’re feeling down just to get followers. Show that high frequency vibe to all of us. I think after the last few years we could use some positivity and the space to start focusing on building new great things. Where focus goes, energy flows.
My next video for my members will be about explaining a bit about what the system is, what it wants, what is its purpose so if you haven’t joined my membership yet, go ahead, click here so you wouldn’t miss it.
I feel like this post may be a bit all over the place but my main purpose with this post was just to remind you that jealousy is a sneaky little thing that can grow into a big bitter entity if you don’t deal with it.
You could be a saint and such a great person but when something is not in balance in your life or the way you want to, it’s only natural to feel a bit shaky.
I have to move out from my AirBnb in February and I haven’t even started to look for a new place yet. I suddenly have all these deadlines I myself set for myself and my next photography class is starting in February as well, so there is a lot going on. I was so into these topics that I forgot to remind myself that at the end of the day, everything is good. I’m good even when I don’t go for a run every single day. I’m good when I choose to sleep longer and let my body rest. At the end of the day my current home was manifested exactly for this reason – to recover, rest and create.
I’m not ashamed to admit that jealousy has been a frequent visitor but it’s also great to then observe myself and see what I need to work on. It’s very okay to be feeling these things but just make sure you deal with them as jealousy only holds low frequency energies. We want to vibe high!
This post makes me giggle because it’s not deep and serious at all which I usually am. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and clear. I feel very calm, satisfied and high but all I did to feel this, was write my morning routine. I think that the essence of it already shows the effect it will have on my life.
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Thanks for reading,
I love you.
Gerda Carina
