I’m painfully homesick!!!

“I’m homesick” is something you don’t hear me say too often but secretly I always feel it. Are you homesick sometimes? Most of the time I’m painfully homesick for the home far away from this planet, the home I came from. Today I’m homesick for the gray and cold autumn. It’s my first warm introduction to a winter where the sun shines almost everyday so far, everything is green and I can still swim in the sea. It’s November in a few days.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe that we ourselves are our homes, so no matter where we are in this world – as long as we have ourselves, we are at home.

It’s just that this little part of me misses the mystical time where I prepare for the winter – pick the greens and foods from the garden that I could freeze and eat throughout winter; collect tomatoes from the greenhouse and preserve them for winter; pick apples from our trees and make the sweetest juice that I usually warm up and drink after walking in snow and letting the cold into my bones; collect candles and just go more within as the dark months come closer; spend time with my family and share some precious moments with them.

The sun is great though. Every time I’ve been in a cold and dark country for winter I’ve always struggled to feel inspired to do anything, especially create, but here in the sun I find the energy to go hiking, spend time on the beach while soaking my toes in the sea, work and create projects and most of all be amongst other people more than I usually am during these times.

The gypsy life is still real and I’m living it. I do have a vision of how my future life and future house look like though. My home would have little bit from all the cultures I’ve fallen in love with throughout my adventures. It most definitely has space for the Middle East touch and lot’s of plants like the jungle in Jamaica. Ideally I would have a big shelf for all the spices from Morocco and the mystical spirit of Egypt that I still carry in my heart. Oh, there are so many ideas how I would build my safe haven but first of all I need to find the right country and continent for this.

I’m currently focusing on surviving this winter and finding ways to make it easier. The collective is being shaken and so much nasty dirt is coming up that it takes a toll on me once in a while. I find myself sharing a tear or two then. But like they say about cleaning out your closet – it’s messy at first until it’s clean.

Hopefully the awakening continues and people find their center regardless of the external events. This reminds me of THIS song. Please listen! It’s so beautiful and fills my heart every single time I listen to it. Actually even better – listen to the whole album. Trevor Hall is a gem. 

If you look at movies where there is the good and the bad guy, then you’ll probably know that the bad guy does not just give up until they are defeated completely. As long as their heart is beating, they’ll try to bring you down with them. This is the time we are currently living in. But it’s okay. If you are prepared and take your energy out from the topics that do not serve you, you’ll save your energy.

As long as you give your focus into external situations you can’t control, they’ll win. Choose hope and freedom by learning to control your mind, emotions and reaction. This way you’ll be more able to create your own reality as where focus goes, energy flows.

I will share a bit more about the New World in the making in one of my next posts. I definitely feel like it’s necessary to offer support as much as possible and using our voice right now is the best form of doing this.

By the way I never thought I would be the type of a person who would be brave enough to be seen the way I am, but looking back and reminding myself how I’ve done public speaking on stage and overall just always been in the center of attention on sets and my online classes, I can say from my own experience that once you decide to use your voice, the support will come. You’ll be given the opportunities to be heard and seen by the right people. 

I was hiking on the weekend with the boys and they took me on top of the mountain which had the most beautiful view of my hometown. We saw donkeys on our way back to the village. One of them had babies in her belly and as I naturally gravitate towards animals, I started speaking the language of the Universe that everyone understands – LOVE. It was hidden in touch and full presence.

There really is no other language for me that I understand. And sometimes I honestly just sit back and question what my spirit was thinking when it wanted to come here, on this planet, where there is no collective harmony nor balance… but then I bond with animals and everything is alright again.

I’ll do a throwback to one of my previous posts. Feels accurate to share.

Also please let me know if you resonate with what I share here in my blog. Makes me feel less alone!

Until next time!
Gerda Carina

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