Do you love too much? Are you someone who wears your heart in your palms just to please others?
As a woman who loves too much and after learning that this is who I’ve always been because of my childhood, I experienced an amazing shift, a breakthrough this morning. I’ll explain because there are more women like me who can maybe resonate.
I was able to create more headspace than usual for myself today than for the people in my life. I did my workout because I wanted to feel good for MYSELF and only for MYSELF. I took a shower because I wanted to take care of me for MYSELF. I shaved because I wanted to feel my skin soft for MYSELF. I vacuumed the floors to be in a clean house for MYSELF and no one else.
It is great to share my soft skin with my partner and my clean home with the great people in my life, of course! But I was able to put myself first with ease, with no effort and it was the most intense inner peace I’ve felt in a long time. It was almost like a confirmation that I needed. It is great to be my first priority.
Understand this – I’ve always been the person who gives and gives and gives and ends up empty because the takers know no limits and I never had boundaries before. So putting myself first is almost like the most important celebration in my life because it has taken me years to be able to balance it in my mind first, and then act it out in this physical reality.
If you haven’t read the book “Women who love too much” but feel called to, I recommend you get your hands on it as soon as possible. I found this book thanks to my beautiful therapist who asked me to read this. I couldn’t be more grateful. And YES! I recommend therapy for everyone, all the time. Just make sure your therapist is the best and knows what they are doing. Shoutout to Inna Sööt!
One of the things I’ve struggled a lot is not being enough the way I am. I’ve had this belief run my life for as long as I can remember. I’ve always felt the need to overcompensate and earn my space in this world without realising that I’m worthy by only existing. My life is important and matters and so does yours.
We don’t have to pursue big and fancy careers to be good enough. This belief belongs to the Old World. The New World is asking you to allow in the whisper of your intuition and just follow it. The New World is asking us to step out from the ego consciousness and step into purity. We are called to step into the knowing.
Have you ever done something in your life just because you KNOW that you have to do this thing? Have you ever had this KNOWING without anyone else from the external world telling you or guiding you to this?
That is called the New Way of living. Following the knowing.
Coming back to me being able to put myself first – I now am able to understand and KNOW that it’s something I just have to do because otherwise I’ll end up draining my energy. Constantly thinking about how to earn someone’s love and approval is exhausting. It’s so exhausting that I’m even surprised I was able to do this for the last 27 years.
What helps me to come back to my space and prioritise my well being instead of trying to please others is seeing the bigger picture. Everything I do in life is backwards. I always go into the end of something and see how I would get there and work backwards. It’s just a habit that I’ve adopted. See the big picture, see the end goal and work from there.
Seeing myself exhausted, depressed and unhappy internally if I’d try to please everyone and earn my place to breathe in this world, is not who I want to become so I make a different decision. I choose to do what is good for me because I know that there may be eyeballs on me that need that example and inspiration.
In the beginning my belief system told me that I’m being selfish by loving myself but the more you do it the more you break free from this! There is a sense of freedom on the other side of being a people’s pleaser but you probably will go through pain first.
So after reading this, do you love too much? Are you called to learn more about it?
Every move you make in this world leaves a mark.
What kind of an example are you being for the eyeballs who are watching?
As a side note – the song I’ve fallen in love this week is THIS beautiful piece of art.
Enroll in my next 6 month online portrait photography class by clicking HERE.
Thank you for reading!
Until next time!
Gerda Carina